 Sure, we have all heard horror stories of the “roommate from hell,” but most of us really never expect to be in that type of a situation. Stories are passed around, we cringe, we laugh; but no, surely that would never happen to us. Unfortunately, too many people never do think that they will have a roommate problem, so they end up taking a roommate search pretty lightly, somehow expecting the perfect roommate to be dropped in their lap. Sadly, it just doesn’t work this way, and picking out a roommate takes some work and perseverance.
While picking the wrong roommate may result in one of those horror stories you may have heard, you are more likely to end up with a roommate story that is much less dramatic. This roommate does little things every single day that drive you crazy, until it reaches a boiling point and you blow up, realizing you cannot live with that person a minute longer.
So how do I avoid ending up with a bad roommate? You have probably already heard a variety of things that you should do when choosing a roommate, so let’s take a look at what NOT to do; in essence, the six deadly sins when choosing a roommate.
Roommate Sin #1: Not taking your happiness into consideration
One of the worst things that you can do when you are considering a potential roommate is to not take into consideration your own happiness. When choosing a roommate, too many people think "tolerance" instead of "happiness". For example, your roommate loves having people over yet you prefer peace and quiet. You may tolerate this activity for some time, but ultimately, you will be left feeling unhappy. It's also wise to look at the big picture. What are your pet peeves? What are some obvious and maybe not-so obvious things your potential roommate might do that will push your buttons? You deserve to be happy, so keep your happiness in mind when searching for your new roommate.
Roommate Sin #2: Conducting a Roommate Search using broad criteria
Many people fall into this trap in that they only do broad roommate search. They don't realize that the more general their roommate search is, the harder it will be to sift through all the roommate applications they'll receive. Don't get me wrong; if you're the kind of person who loves to meet people and/or is not pressed for time, then a Quick Roommate Search is all you may need. Keep in mind that you will want to interview each potential roommate, and, since interviews take time, it's probably better to interview a select few who meet your Advanced Roommate Search criteria, than waste your time on people who don't.
Roommate Sin #3: Rushing your roommate decision
People who do not think about the consequences of picking out the wrong roommate are the ones who usually end up with a roommate that makes their life a living hell. If you do not take the search for a roommate seriously, you could end up with a roommate the ruins your life and wrecks your home as well as your finances. A friend of mine recently fell into this trap. He was so worried about getting a roommate to help pay the bills that he failed to take his roommate search. He decided to post up a roommate ad in a grocery store and almost immediately began receiving calls about the room for rent. Unfortunately, he made a quick pick and literally ended up with the “roommate from hell.” His roommate never paid rent, stole money and other belongings from him, and ultimately left my friend in more of a bind than how he started. Moral of the story: Be very selective when searching and posting your roommate ad, and do not rush your decision. Take some time to compare your candidates, and don’t just choose someone who seems to have the least amount of problems. Examining a potential roommate's strong and weak points will result in you making a much better choice.
Roommate Sin #4: Skipping the personal Interview
This is definitely a quick way to end up with a horrible roommate. If you skip out on the personal interview, you will have no real personal interaction with the prospective roommate. Also keep in mind that a quickly done interview can be equally disasterous if you forget to ask the right questions. You should also think about setting up additional dates, such as going to a party together, or some place that lets you get to know your prospective roommate better.
Take for instance, another good friend of mine who decided to forego the personal interview. The person she was considering was the granddaughter of one of her grandmother’s friends, so she mistakenly thought everything would be great and never bothered with that interview. When her new roommate arrived she brought along a pet snake and two pet lizards. Now you may be thinking, “Big deal,” but to my friend, who was deathly afraid of snakes and about anything else that crawled, this was a major crisis. If she would have just taken the time to have a face to face interview, she could have avoided the “trauma” of having her new roommate show up on her doorstep with her “cold-blooded friends.”
Roommate Sin #5: Failing to run a background check
Ok, so you're pretty sure you've found the perfect roommate! They fit your preferences, and you feel you both really connected when you hung out together (aka. the personal interview process). However, you are running a serious risk if you do not run a background check on your prospective roommate. You don't know what truly lies behind that winning smile or good sense of humor, so don't risk your apartment, belongings or even your life - it's not worth it! Play it safe, and do your due dilligence!
Roommate Sin #6: Failing to set up some ground rules
When two people come together from different backgrounds, it's common to have different expectations of the living arrangements. If you fail to set up some rules in the beginning, this may quickly turn into a bad situation. Setting up some ground rules from the very start can help you make sure that you both know what's acceptable and what's not.
Yours truly had to learn this lesson the hard way. One roommate I had was a friend of a friend who I had known for some time, so the fact that we needed to form a roommate agreement never even crossed my mind. I paid for my mistake dearly. Within a few weeks, my roommate's room looked (and smelled) like a pig sty, from which loud music constantly blared, and my food dissapeared before I could even eat it. Suffice to say, for several months I was sleep-deprived, hungry and pissed-off. Not a good situation to be in during finals week. Lesson learned: create a roommate agreement and stick to it!
Now that you know the deadly sins of searching for a roommate, you should be better prepared to find that “perfect” roommate. Remember,you are responsible for how happy you are going to be with your roommate. If you play your cards right, you will only have to listen to the roommate horror stories, instead of being the one telling them.
Joy Burgess lives in Florida. She has had many an experience with with roommates and landlords. She has participated in various charity efforts, including volunteer work at a local hospital ER, Relay for Life, Dog Walk for the American Heart Association, and local church events.
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